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Foodie MacFoodface

Food flâneur. Gastronaut. Badass. Purveyor of fine recipes and musings about my dinner to the masses.

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Loaded Onion Dice - learn to dice like a boss

Freeze Your Bones - and other reminiscences about making stock.

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It's Butternut Soup Season, Motherfuckers

Ah! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking butternut, and make soup. That shit is going to taste so seasonal. I’m about to head out to the store right now to find that mutant squash fucker, peel and de-seed it, toss it in olive oil, and roast it just right. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my roasted butternut soup, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of tasty fucking squash soup. They set the clocks back this weekend past, and Thanksgiving is in sight. The summer garden is all but dead, and my toes are creaking at the prospect of frost. It's Roasted Butternut Soup season, mofos. I'm from the nether-regions of the African continent, where butternut squash grows with abandon and every restaurant and household hoards a secret recipe for the sacred soup. At the intersection of the prevailing westerlies and trade winds, the vernacular cuisine of my h...

Kimchi Fried Rice with Shrimp and Whatnot

Hailing, as I do, from the nether regions of the African continent, the arcana of Korean cuisine have never really been my bag. As a consequence of later life travels in the Koreatowns of Trumpistan I have learned that the Han-In diaspora makes a good fist of chicken wings and their indoor barbecue is an innovation that I fully endorse. While I have had occasion to taste it on the restaurant circuit, expanding my use of buried, fermented vegetable matter has hitherto not been high on my kitchen experiments list. A Dutchman of this parish, with whom I compare occasional notes about cookery and home economics, has consistently extoled the virtues of Kimchi (a fermented cabbage matter, stewed in the hot sauce paste of the Korean people, and buried in their yards). Kimchi is, so the Hollander claimed, a cheap, versatile and healthy vegetarian snack one can store in the refrigerator for months without fear of tummy knack. What’s more, he has been known to say, it makes an excellent ...

Turkey Two Ways: Resurrect Your Thanksgiving Leftovers with Salad and Stock

There are a couple things the United States of America can shamelessly offer to the world, and no, it’s not regime change and tax evasion. I’m talking turkey and Thanksgiving. En repos Back in the early days of the separatist American enclave, a band of fresh-off-the-boat religious zealots invited over their brown neighbors to toast a wondrous harvest. Corn, turkey, cranberries, and other assorted goodies were passed around in thanks, and a foundation myth was born. Pesky facts are irritatingly truculent, and it seems the record contradicts almost every alleged component of that first Thanksgiving dinner . They probably ate deer (not turkey), the natives were likely crashing the party, and the mythical Indian leader, Squanto, rather than being the heart of the party, was actually a former slave of the English who had lost his entire people to small pox. It’s entirely unclear what he would have had to be thankful about. But why sully a good story? Fast forward almost...